Damn Jesse, you always manage to write something that speaks to my exact struggle in the moment. "Accepting there are things I won't get back" hit me really hard. I feel like I am constantly trying to grab onto the cliff of my prior competence and crawl my way back up but I end up dropping further. Thanks for this essay and all the resources within.
Jesse I really really admire your ability to stay present with the reality of what you and many of us (really everyone) are experiencing -- which is a whole lot of hurt and suckiness and general despair, while at the same time cultivating such a sense of softness and hope (I don't know if this is the word I want to use). I'm having a hard time being coherent these days (and fear I may never be coherent again) so hopefully this makes sense. But I always finish reading your words feeling seen, validated, and refreshed. Like yes! YES! Someone gets it and can put it in the words that make it make sense in at least one way or another.
In this time where it is so hard to care and feel cared for, I hope you are finding care for yourself and feeling cared for.
Goodness every bit of this was incredible. Even the picture of the pineapple sage got to me. I planted some for the first time in my herb spiral this spring and have been "frustrated" by the lack of apparent use. It's not that aromatic of an herb, so what is the point? Then in this unseasonably warm October the flowers bloomed and it became a hub for hummingbirds. A sign of . . . something? Patience? A recognition that my autistic pattern-making doesn't always see what is going on? I don't know but I am trying to sit with this message as an incredibly burned out activist.
Cripes. What a piece. Thank you very much. The geological processes and tech relationship resources have sent me into a very helpful research rabbit hole. The ND burnout sharing - heartily in solidarity and appreciate the candour.
Another book you might consider adding to your growing "burnout" theoretical library is the one by the criminally underappreciated (on this side of the Atlantic) Korean-German philosopher, Byung-Chul Han, called "The Burnout Society".
so true bestie. actively trying to make my world simpler to be less overwhelming, and saying no? what an idea. my therapist told me to "think about the consequences" of what I choose to do, and honestly acknowledging what's in my control has started to shift a lot for me. that does mean adding more actual "staring at wall dissociating" to my day instead of doom scrolling, but on the other side of dissociating may be processing emotions and having more energy instead of doom scrolling which almost only results in me being very anxious and overstimulated. also eating candy because I'm sad lmao. instead checking in with myself that I want to eat candy, not to fill a void!!!! ugh. can't wait to read more from u.
Ah thank you so much for sharing. This speaks directly to my frazzled burnt out autistic heart. The struggle is real right now. Trying to stay grounded / find glimmers only offers a small window of relief. Not enough to create a real buffer. Sending so much love 🩷🩷🩷
thank you for writing this article and sharing these resources
always important to be reminded that i am in fact autistic and i do in fact have a lower "smoking point" as you say, and that what im experiencing is real 🙏🙏 thank you
Thank you for sharing this piece, Jesse. Burnout is one of those topics that has become buzzwordy and un-nuanced, and I got a lot from this perspective.
I wrote about my own experiences with burnout, and specifically how it overlapped with trauma. I was stuck by how much easier it was to say "I'm burnt out" than to say "I'm traumatised", and it useful to think through my many overlapping, contradictory thoughts on all that. I just went back to check and it's more than a year since I wrote that essay, so I'm sure it needs an update but here's a link in case you'd like to read: https://clareegan.substack.com/p/theres-something-missing-from-the
(& if you don't, I hope you won't consider this a spammy comment. I'm never sure of the etiquette of these things!)
Urgh this is everything. Also autistic, also burnt out and gets confused in supermarkets. The last 6months have been a full reckoning of I won’t ever be able to do what I used to again. I feel grateful that I had the sense last year to start retraining as a therapist so I can fully work from home as my physical job right now is becoming impossible. Also looking at how I can create more networks of care and cultivating community at a local level. The inflammation in my body is forcing a rapid transformation and different approach to life.
Thank you for this reminder, and all the reference links. Been working 50hr weeks in a very stressful project for 27 weeks straight, know I am gonna crash.
'Rapid intensification smokes us all'. Indeed. Thanks so much for this, interesting to read potential answers to some of the questions I have been asking myself; why do I feel more autistic as i get older? Why is my baseline absolutely shot? etc. For me, the only thing I know is that I need to make my world smaller and less online (ironically, being on substack is my way of doing that. Beats the endless scroll of socials). I need to literally walk to the gym down the road, I need to cycle my bike to my co-working hub, I need to check in with my friends and family. That might literally be all I have capacity for.
Damn Jesse, you always manage to write something that speaks to my exact struggle in the moment. "Accepting there are things I won't get back" hit me really hard. I feel like I am constantly trying to grab onto the cliff of my prior competence and crawl my way back up but I end up dropping further. Thanks for this essay and all the resources within.
Jesse I really really admire your ability to stay present with the reality of what you and many of us (really everyone) are experiencing -- which is a whole lot of hurt and suckiness and general despair, while at the same time cultivating such a sense of softness and hope (I don't know if this is the word I want to use). I'm having a hard time being coherent these days (and fear I may never be coherent again) so hopefully this makes sense. But I always finish reading your words feeling seen, validated, and refreshed. Like yes! YES! Someone gets it and can put it in the words that make it make sense in at least one way or another.
In this time where it is so hard to care and feel cared for, I hope you are finding care for yourself and feeling cared for.
thank you so much 💜💜💜
Goodness every bit of this was incredible. Even the picture of the pineapple sage got to me. I planted some for the first time in my herb spiral this spring and have been "frustrated" by the lack of apparent use. It's not that aromatic of an herb, so what is the point? Then in this unseasonably warm October the flowers bloomed and it became a hub for hummingbirds. A sign of . . . something? Patience? A recognition that my autistic pattern-making doesn't always see what is going on? I don't know but I am trying to sit with this message as an incredibly burned out activist.
jesus christ--what an incredible piece of writing / collection of resources.
Cripes. What a piece. Thank you very much. The geological processes and tech relationship resources have sent me into a very helpful research rabbit hole. The ND burnout sharing - heartily in solidarity and appreciate the candour.
Another book you might consider adding to your growing "burnout" theoretical library is the one by the criminally underappreciated (on this side of the Atlantic) Korean-German philosopher, Byung-Chul Han, called "The Burnout Society".
Oh yes, I forgot about that one! Very relevant!!
Absolutely wonderful essay thank you
so true bestie. actively trying to make my world simpler to be less overwhelming, and saying no? what an idea. my therapist told me to "think about the consequences" of what I choose to do, and honestly acknowledging what's in my control has started to shift a lot for me. that does mean adding more actual "staring at wall dissociating" to my day instead of doom scrolling, but on the other side of dissociating may be processing emotions and having more energy instead of doom scrolling which almost only results in me being very anxious and overstimulated. also eating candy because I'm sad lmao. instead checking in with myself that I want to eat candy, not to fill a void!!!! ugh. can't wait to read more from u.
Ah thank you so much for sharing. This speaks directly to my frazzled burnt out autistic heart. The struggle is real right now. Trying to stay grounded / find glimmers only offers a small window of relief. Not enough to create a real buffer. Sending so much love 🩷🩷🩷
Love your work so much really needed to hear this at this particular moment. Thank you.
I always enjoy your articles but this one is especially beautiful. Thank you for sharing.
thank you for writing this article and sharing these resources
always important to be reminded that i am in fact autistic and i do in fact have a lower "smoking point" as you say, and that what im experiencing is real 🙏🙏 thank you
Thank you for sharing this piece, Jesse. Burnout is one of those topics that has become buzzwordy and un-nuanced, and I got a lot from this perspective.
I wrote about my own experiences with burnout, and specifically how it overlapped with trauma. I was stuck by how much easier it was to say "I'm burnt out" than to say "I'm traumatised", and it useful to think through my many overlapping, contradictory thoughts on all that. I just went back to check and it's more than a year since I wrote that essay, so I'm sure it needs an update but here's a link in case you'd like to read: https://clareegan.substack.com/p/theres-something-missing-from-the
(& if you don't, I hope you won't consider this a spammy comment. I'm never sure of the etiquette of these things!)
Urgh this is everything. Also autistic, also burnt out and gets confused in supermarkets. The last 6months have been a full reckoning of I won’t ever be able to do what I used to again. I feel grateful that I had the sense last year to start retraining as a therapist so I can fully work from home as my physical job right now is becoming impossible. Also looking at how I can create more networks of care and cultivating community at a local level. The inflammation in my body is forcing a rapid transformation and different approach to life.
Thank you for this reminder, and all the reference links. Been working 50hr weeks in a very stressful project for 27 weeks straight, know I am gonna crash.
'Rapid intensification smokes us all'. Indeed. Thanks so much for this, interesting to read potential answers to some of the questions I have been asking myself; why do I feel more autistic as i get older? Why is my baseline absolutely shot? etc. For me, the only thing I know is that I need to make my world smaller and less online (ironically, being on substack is my way of doing that. Beats the endless scroll of socials). I need to literally walk to the gym down the road, I need to cycle my bike to my co-working hub, I need to check in with my friends and family. That might literally be all I have capacity for.